Have you heard the expression, “you are what you eat”? Well, in a sense, our children are who we create them to become. Sure, they have outside influences and those play a big role as well, but the bottom line holds true, we are their first teachers. If we are sarcastic and snarky, we can not expect any less from them. If we show them love, tenderness and patience, they will learn those behaviors too.
If we have been injured while growing up, verbally abused or physically abused, we owe it to our children not to carry those behaviors on to our own children by modeling our parents’ behaviors. I believe that the greatest majority of parents do the best they can with the tool they have, but if you have access to more information, use it.
Children are impressionable and are like sponges. Do your best to model good behavior and remember they are not tiny adults capable of thinking like an adult. They are at a completely different stage of life and ability to reason than you.
Try to be patient. Yelling solves nothing. I’ve found this out the hard way. I have the tendency to yell when I get frustrated. I admit I’m still a work in progress. I do my best to not let the little things bother me.
Weigh the punishment and make sure it fits the crime. Make sure your kid’s understand there are consequences to poor behavior but without yelling can be difficult but life is much easier when you finally get it to work. My son has ADHD and when he’s exhausted he’s a bear to deal with. Trying to pre-empt that scenario can be difficult but can be managed most of the time. Consequences work. Make sure they are age appropriate and appropriate for the problem.
Remember that it’s important to show your kids love as much as it is to say it. Show them in the way you act, treat each other and be respectful. It doesn’t mean let your kids wall all over you and get whatever they want. That only breeds spoiled brats. Balance is the key.
These are all things that have taken a long time to understand in our house. Somehow, I am so blessed to have great kids. I’m still working on this mom thing though. Its the best 24/7 job I could ever ask for.
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